I get bogged down by some of the crappier stuff that happens in the news, which is obviously my favorite thing to comment on, so I will comment on my own face instead. Antinews.
I wish I could grow a better beard. And I wish I could grow it instantly. The main differences between men and women are as follows: Women can have babies, men can grow beards. Done. Health Sciences lesson over. The problem here with this equation is that babies (arguably) contribute more to the continuation of life on earth more than beards. And the fact that it turns out that beards are the only contribution men can make to life on earth is made even more disheartening since I can't grow a very good one. If I was from a culture that demanded I grow a beard, I'd be out of luck. I'd be weird beard. Point being that I wish life was more like the Play-Doh Barbershop (arguably) the best toy ever.
Wouldn't it be neat to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, tug on a lobe, and sprout any color beard you wished? Of course the PlayDoh Barbershop also took care of the top cover, which some out there might like to take advantage of too.
If you wanted a beard of cicadas, this would be the year. Every 17 years, the cicadas come out of hibernation and mate, or drink blood, or something. I don't know, I'd better look it up. But it turns out that this is that year, and the midwest is in for a bug-blizzard. Apparently the annoying thing about cicadas is the beastly amount of noise they make. So much so that outdoor concerts are being cancelled all over in places like Wisconsin and Iowa. Not that the concerts would have been very good anyway. I mean, come on.
Let's read more together about the coming cicada storm, let's self educate:
Hey! I feel just a little impugned by all this beard stuff! I don't think you've really given it a full shot. Sure it'll be scruffy here and there, but look at all the Hollywood Beefcakes out there with scruffy looking hair, beard and 'toos--scruffiness is no excuse! I had a scruffy beard for ages! And my own son couldn't recognize me when I shaved it off, so it couldn't have been TOO thin! (And I think you know what I'm sayin'!)
Pop
Posted by: Pop at May 22, 2007 12:59 AM