IPW

The Aromist

It seems that New York City has an Aromist on the loose. An Aromist is a cowardly character who goes about loosing smells of all kinds of varieties onto the populace. Last year it was the smell of maple syrup, and this morning, more sinisterly, it is the smell of gas. So far, the subways have only been shut down for a moment. According to various news sources, the air quality is good, and there is no drop in gas pressure. The only conclusion therefore, is that there is a madman out there, distributing odd smells to unsettle the citizenry. What's next, Cherry Pie smell? I wouldn't object I guess. It does seem that "he" (could be a she, or multiple people, or multiple eunuchs, this is a very sexually diverse city) tested the "smell currents" with the Maple Syrup Smell at least twice last year. This led people to wonder of course, "Pancakes?"

It also put me in mind, if I recall correctly, of an excellent children's book called "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" in which a town experiences food as weather. They have to abandon the town after the church is flattened by, yes, a pancake. This continues to tickle my fancy some 25 years later. I would love to see giant pancakes lying around town. I might even be able to take a few of them on, I'm quite a pancake eater.

I digress though. Currently the effected areas are in Manhattan, from central park south to battery park, and across the river to New Jersey. I was under the impression that Jersey always sort of smelled a bit gassy, but maybe now they have an excuse.

I and other readers are wondering what the Aromist might look like. He/She would certainly have a big nose. He/She would probably like to own an invisible cloak like the readers of this blog. We can assume though, that He/She is not one of your small number and therefore has not had access to the invisible cloak formula. I here provide an artist's sketch, provided to me by a orphaned gyspy (Rom) lad, of the Aromist:

Posted by ian at January 8, 2007 11:55 AM