IPW

World Tour '07

Several pieces of news for you, dear readers:

• Conversations between Days of the Week™, has been put on hold due to to violations of New Years Resolution #2. Also, it has been brought to my attention that it is a rip-off of a Pizza Hut..minoes...time...father's™ commercial. Brought to my attention by myself. I now admit for an extreme fondness for that commercial and really just wanted to expand on it. I might keep doing it.

• Magda and I are now officially leaving for a trip around the world in September. We will be gone for a year and are primarily planning on traveling around the Indian Ocean, basically. Our current itinerary includes this route: SE Asia, India, Africa (South Africa and possibly Kenya*) across to Australia, ACROSS Australia, over to New Zealand and then back up towards Asia. Taiwan, China**, Mongolia and then back to Beijing to try and volunteer for the Olympics. Then home. We are assuming that "Home" will be NY, but life is funny in the way that it makes you rethink the notion of Home.
In any event, we are also officially soliciting contacts in any and all countries along our route, to meet with, stay with, make friends with or make friends with friends of. So if any of my four readers knows anyone along this route who enjoy meeting travelers in a state of High Stink, please introduce us!

• There have been complaints from one reader (there's always one) complaining that she can't figure out which entries she's read because the months are in Polish. This despite the fact that she's now had a year's course in the Polish language focused exclusively on the months of the year. So in order to accommodate an entire one fourth of my readership (it could be an even higher percentile, I have no way of knowing) I've changed all the dates back to English. I know that the rest of you will miss your weekly Polish courses, but feel free to Skype us and we will refer your to Magda's mother, who I'm sure will be happy to to speak at you in that language, free of charge.

• I'm trying to come up with a secret sign for the readers of this blog. I often joke that I have only four readers. This might be an exaggeration. I know for a fact that I have one reader, besides myself, and sadly she is not my wife. That reader may be you, probably is. On our recent trip to Seattle I talked to a good friend, who SHOULD be reading my blog but has never indicated that he has been. He knew certain facts though that he could only have gleaned from these pages. It should also be noted that I have a terrible memory and I began to think that we had had a conversation that I'd simply forgotten. Unlikely since our conversations are memorable for their put-downs and other mutual abuse. I feel we all need to identify each other somehow, outside of this virtual community. I propose when we next meet, I will deliver you an open handed slap. If you respond in kind, I will know that you are a reader of this blog. Alternatively, we could wear coats made from the skins of beasts and throw red paint on one another as a greeting. My final suggestion is to invent, then wear, invisible cloaks. If we don't see each other at all, we will know with whom we stand.

Any and all suggestions are welcome. Please contribute.

*potentially more countries, including the city of Zanzibar, from which we have been warned off of by our outrageous friend GC. Who has been everywhere. It should be noted though that she tends to frequent places in which there is at least some hot running water, which would preclude the office at which I am currently working in NYC.)

**China has hot running water for the most part. Don't you think that if China has hot running water, the office I'm working in should? The bosses would argue that there is an electric tea kettle, but that argument (it torments me to say) does not hold water.

Conversations between Days of the Week™ Part II: Mr. Humpday

Yo, Humpday here. "Wedns Humpday?" you ask? Hahah. Anyhow. They should have talked to me first, I'm the "Tent Pole" day of the week. Everything kinda comes down to me being right in the middle. In order to get to the other days, ya gotta get through me. I don't even talk to the guy next to me. Don't even know his name. Why should I? I'm Humpday. After me, everything is downhill is the reason they call me that. That and other reasons. Hahah. But really, is it cause I'm tough to get through? Hells yeah! But like I say, after me it's easy, so folks are glad to meet me, right in the middleadaweek. Thursday follows my gig. Thursday's soft. Thursday's crowdin my shadow. I heard once that people were treatin Thursday like Mr. Friday, drinkin, goin out...humpin! Hahah. You know. That's BS though, nobody is Friday like Mr. Friday. Damn that day is hot. Now I would trade places with Mr. Friday anytime. Mr. Friday don't talk much me though. I think Friday's got a big head. HEY WHAT THE HELL FRIDAY???? I don't think he's listenin to me. Me, Humpday. Who needs ya frickin Friday.

Posted by ian at January 3, 2007 11:39 PM