IPW

Your Seattle Seahawks and Extreme Asterisk Usage

I've had a testy response to my late-breaking news story from the last entry. One of my four readers (who will not be named to protect him from reader backlash) took offense at my use of the word YOUR when referring to the Seattle Seahawks and half-suggested I should go root for the Yankees like the other NY Wannabees. I say let's try to calm the rhetoric a bit. Everyone has had a hard week dealing with the blow of the Seahawks having their hats flicked off their heads, picked up, dusted off and handed back to them. Now I consider the Seahawks to be my team, just as are the Mariners, the Sounders, the Sonics, The Storm, The Huskies, The Garfield Bulldogs, The Cornish Game Hens (Pronounced "Gay Mens) etc. I will always root for them and I will always be crushed inside when they fall just short of their National Title aspirations. I've always been crushed on these occasions and there have been many. It is a Seattle tradition of which I am proud to reach for heights long sought, miss them and then break teeth on the curb in the fall. It is only through this repeated misery that we are able to laugh off 27 straight days of rain*, scoff at the abrupt loss of our beloved monorail plan and react with feigned indifference when home-grown Boeing HQ ships out to Chicago. Seattle embodies the self-determined West. It isn't sport that has made this city famous, it's been the ingenuity of Microsoft, the tenacity of Starbucks, and the monstrosity of Costco that has brought more millionaires per capita than anywhere else** to this northwestern-most city! So those of you Seattleites who haven't inexplicably moved to the East Village and even if you have: Chins Up! Chests Out! Your lattes are extra steamy and frothy today because...THE REFS ROBBED YOU OF SUPER-BOWL GLORY!!!

And it is in this manner that I used the royal "You" when referring to Your Seattle Seahawks.*** Meaning: Our Seattle Seahawks.

Now for the record, Seattle may have trouble meeting arbitrary goals set up by other cities, but it excels in setting the pace for the country. If we can't be on top in one category, we happily invent another. The following is a link to a list of Seattle firsts, I'm particularly proud of the parts about inventing hydroplanes and the dog toothbrush: http://www.see-seattle.com/seattlefirsts.htm

*27 straight days of rain in Seattle was not a record, it fell just short of the record reinforcing every Seattleites hope that one day we might break the record for falling just short of breaking the record.

**http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2000/mar/000327.cfoa.html

*** There isn't actually such thing as "The Royal You" but there should be.

**** Asterisks are fun and never overused.

***** The Nutella trap is still empty

Posted by ian at February 7, 2006 02:13 PM